Friday, July 29, 2005

Life is full of choices...

If u have seen my msn nick recently(if u even notice :P), u would have noticed that i am vexed for choices.. Life is full of choice , but which one should i choose? Since i promised someone(hi sl :P) to either write it yesteerday or today, i'm just doing it now.

To her(same her): U might want to not see it. I'm just too scared too scared that i will hurt u again. Yes although this post dont have any offensive thing. i'm just making sure u're not hurt again. I dont want u to feel guilty/sad again. Please dont. NONE OF THIS POST is aimed at u. I'm just blogging out my bottled emotions and of course to keep my promise to u :P SO scroll down if u want to~










I'm just confused.. which choice should i go? 3 choices so theres 3 person... All may lead to the end of tunnel or only one will.. I dont want to make same mistakes and hurt particular individual like i did in the past again. . . Yes.. there would surely be people hurt by this thing. Blame it on me.. i dont know how did it all happen this way. I'll try and do all my best to make sure the 'casaulties' is minium.. no one likes hurting each other.. If u noticed me in school, i'm always sleeping in class this past few weeks. It not that i'm tired, its just that i'm vexed, confused.. I need a break and i hope this will end soon.

Choice 1 is of course u.. yes i know u might find it ridiculuos but.. yes the feeling is still there for me and its the strongest among all. I guess no one can replace u afterall even after a long time...

Choice 2 and 3 ... which one do i prefer? i dunno.. I have just little feelings. .

U might still not believe me maybe that the feeling is still there. Its impossible not to always think of u at home everyday.. The bolster still has ur hair smell.. and i still keep ur neoprint properly in my wallet everyday since that day.. It just makes me think back on the stu pid mistakes i made and the good times back. These 2 objects are the most precious thing around me now. If one day, i'm able to throw the neoprint away and change the bolster, it means i manage to let u go.. But that day wont come so soon.. . How i wish u didnt give me those 4 words.. "ai hui bu lai", maybe its true.. but i'm still holding on to a small hope that maybe those words will be taken back and we would be together again =). U would maybe call me foolish. But i'm just a foolish kid :P. If you're feeling guility that u cause me all this pain, Please dont be. U give me hope and happiness instead of saddness. U give me energy to start a new day. =)For now, i just want to see u happy. Seeing u happy makes me happy too ^^.Thats all. Like u said in ur blog, "aii yii ge rren buu xuu yya0 y0ngg yy0u tarr" U didnt break alot of guys heart, u gave life back to them :) i'm one example. I hope this post doesnt affect u since u have oral today. Please dont. it'll make me feel guility T_T.

So thats the reason why i dont want to talk to u on phone about this when u asked me, i guessed i would be too ashamed to tell u that i still love u since i already broke ur heart into pieces.. so there's always a reason on the things i do :P

ps: thanks to everyone for the advises, for now i'll just stick to choice 1 until all the feeling is gone.. I dont want it to be unfair to the rest next time :). Thanks alot for the care and concern =)

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