This sucks. My cough have been with me for like almost a year already. Everytime its about to be cured by the western medicine, my mother would feed me with some chinese rubbish or some herbal shit that she say will "make me recover first". And of course it comes back to square 1. I'm quite scared that theres some serious illness in me or whatever. Remembering Jasper coughing for a few months and had cancer, that thought just scares the shit off me. My mom keeps telling me not to think so much and my case is "different" from others and it's just a allergy and nothing be serious. Yea coughing every 5 sec + breathing difficulties + pain in chest = nothing serious. I wonder if i really die, what would they say lol.

I give up. Its up to them to bring me to a doctor. I dont really care or give a shit anymore. If i were a working adult, i would just go to the doctor and its all settled. Instead of ur parents fucking delaying the doctor visit because they think its JUST a allergy. I hate to be dependant on people, placing my life on the action of others. When theres trouble, i would just solve it on my own instead of depending on others. There's no choice now, but to depend my life on this people

Then again, death isnt really a bad option. This past years, i've been wearing a mask, a fake mask that's about to break soon