This post is dedicated to you ms leong

You were a great teacher who taught us during secondary 2.Kind hearted, patient teacher.. It hit me hard when i heard that u passed away yesterday. . . We will miss u ms leong. The whole class of 2b and everyone who u taught. May u rest in peace in heaven. God bless you.



I guess this is the first time this kind of thing hit me. . Although i wasnt tat close to her yet i cried. . and still crying now.. Life is just unpredictable..If u want to know which teacher.. scroll down.. its the class picture.. that young beautiful teacher.. 20+ year old. . Apparently she's under severe depression. . Why must life be unfair to those who cherish it?..

Life is full of choices...

If u have seen my msn nick recently(if u even notice :P), u would have noticed that i am vexed for choices.. Life is full of choice , but which one should i choose? Since i promised someone(hi sl :P) to either write it yesteerday or today, i'm just doing it now.

To her(same her): U might want to not see it. I'm just too scared too scared that i will hurt u again. Yes although this post dont have any offensive thing. i'm just making sure u're not hurt again. I dont want u to feel guilty/sad again. Please dont. NONE OF THIS POST is aimed at u. I'm just blogging out my bottled emotions and of course to keep my promise to u :P SO scroll down if u want to~










I'm just confused.. which choice should i go? 3 choices so theres 3 person... All may lead to the end of tunnel or only one will.. I dont want to make same mistakes and hurt particular individual like i did in the past again. . . Yes.. there would surely be people hurt by this thing. Blame it on me.. i dont know how did it all happen this way. I'll try and do all my best to make sure the 'casaulties' is minium.. no one likes hurting each other.. If u noticed me in school, i'm always sleeping in class this past few weeks. It not that i'm tired, its just that i'm vexed, confused.. I need a break and i hope this will end soon.

Choice 1 is of course u.. yes i know u might find it ridiculuos but.. yes the feeling is still there for me and its the strongest among all. I guess no one can replace u afterall even after a long time...

Choice 2 and 3 ... which one do i prefer? i dunno.. I have just little feelings. .

U might still not believe me maybe that the feeling is still there. Its impossible not to always think of u at home everyday.. The bolster still has ur hair smell.. and i still keep ur neoprint properly in my wallet everyday since that day.. It just makes me think back on the stu pid mistakes i made and the good times back. These 2 objects are the most precious thing around me now. If one day, i'm able to throw the neoprint away and change the bolster, it means i manage to let u go.. But that day wont come so soon.. . How i wish u didnt give me those 4 words.. "ai hui bu lai", maybe its true.. but i'm still holding on to a small hope that maybe those words will be taken back and we would be together again =). U would maybe call me foolish. But i'm just a foolish kid :P. If you're feeling guility that u cause me all this pain, Please dont be. U give me hope and happiness instead of saddness. U give me energy to start a new day. =)For now, i just want to see u happy. Seeing u happy makes me happy too ^^.Thats all. Like u said in ur blog, "aii yii ge rren buu xuu yya0 y0ngg yy0u tarr" U didnt break alot of guys heart, u gave life back to them :) i'm one example. I hope this post doesnt affect u since u have oral today. Please dont. it'll make me feel guility T_T.

So thats the reason why i dont want to talk to u on phone about this when u asked me, i guessed i would be too ashamed to tell u that i still love u since i already broke ur heart into pieces.. so there's always a reason on the things i do :P

ps: thanks to everyone for the advises, for now i'll just stick to choice 1 until all the feeling is gone.. I dont want it to be unfair to the rest next time :). Thanks alot for the care and concern =)

I shall post tomorrow. No mood today....

Retardedness

What seriously piss me off in this world is that some people will have a retarded behaviour, ask RETARDED questions and give retarded comments. No i'm nt discriminating against the mentall disabled or wadever. i even like the mentally disabled people more than those who are normal but act retarded.

Chinese lesson, we watched some video abt 2 sad stories about 2 ppl who have disease but they continue to live strong. One was a man with no hands and only 1 leg who became a famous mouth artist. Another was a small girl who had some disease abt too little blood cells. Of course its sad la. So happenly, the PERSON sitting infront of me(shallnt reveal his name) was making RETARDED comments. So when they show the sad part, he would just keep saying: " ALL THIS IS STAGED LA. ALL THE DIRECTOR DIRECT ONE." Seriously when i hear that, i feel like slapping his balls. First time i dont REALLY mind. I'm a patient person. Then he went on and on.. ok nvm tahan.. Then nxt day(cause period too short to watch whole clip), we continued. . HE GAVE THE SAME RETARDED COMMENT. ROARRRR I FEEL LIKE BANGING HIS HEAD. All those saddistic thoughts came up on my mind. Then wei wen(guy sitting beside him) came to the rescue LOL. he shout : "CAN U SHUT UP?" HAHA OWNED. That really made him stfu. Now listen here in case u thought i hate him. I dont have any hatred towards him, he's generally an ok person but those retarded comments really pissed me off. I mean, HOW WOULD THE DIRECTOR FUCKING HIDE 2 HANDS AND 1 LEG? /more mature plz. This isnt some kiddy power ranger show where the fucking rangers get bomb and they are still alive and summon some omfg dinosaur megazort. NOW THATS STAGED.

BUT
THIS
IS
FUCKING
REAL
LIFE

Get the difference?

I hate people discriminating against the disabled people or whatever. Would u imagine if u're the person there, and there's someone saying : " HAHA ITS ALL STAGED BY THE DIRECTOR" WOnt u want to slap that person balls? Its was EVEN showed in china national TV -_-.

New quote of the day!
" Dont try to act like a retarded person if u're not born to be one" - Ky

All is going well~ Went her hse wakak! ok i shall zip my mouth !

There lives a ass....

THere lives a guy in maris stella who maris stella who UNFORTUNATELY studied with me since sec 2. He's so bloody omfg selfish and self centered. So heres what happen. During sec 2 camp, we went to pulau ubin for a walk. Our whole class was already thirsting to death with 0 water in our water bottle. Then oh so kind him had 1 WHOLE BIG 1.5L BOTTLE FULL OF WATER LEFT? Of course we asked him to share with us abit. Know what he said? " Huh Dont want la." THEN HE GIVES THE GAY SMILING FACE AS THO ITS FUNNY. So i manage to scan a picture
Sorry for the bad scanning skillz. But i made sure his face didnt TURN out distorted.
He's the guy who got circled of course. 35 people were almost thirsting to death and he still laugh? If there was a fish nearby, i would have got it and slap his balls up down left right. Everyone didnt like him from that day onwards. He's just so freaking selfish.

So this year, of course expected, he did another selfish thing. There's this geography project and he was in a grp of 3. Hm.. SO guess what? He submitted the project writing HIS OWN NAME ONLY. Then he tell the teacher the rest of the 2 didnt do anything. Apparently jason told him he sent his info to him for the project and he uses it. SO GUESS WHAT HE SAID? Wow he's such a fucking backstabber and he comes up with the nicest diplomacy talk ever.
Btw Diplomacy = saying the nasiest thing in the nicest way
"The information he send me, i also at the internet find already"
ROARRRRR when i heard that, i feel like grabbing 10 fish and slap his tiny balls hard. Its not that i like jason or wadever,actually i dont like him too. But i just cant stand his fucking selfish attitude. Then lian kai(who was in his grp) tio also lol, no one told him they were going to do the project rofl. Would u have put ur grp name if u grp members who are ur FRENS didnt do anything? Yes i would . unfortunately, there are always ass holes in the world. And most unfortunately, i'm living with one of them now.

So girls, if any boys/girl want to intro u to this guy, please please and please never accept him k ? Its all for ur own good. He would just chicken out when he's in a tight situation. So here's his nameeee! (Drum roll)
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MAK GENG YUANN



I bet he has no true friends in school. With this kind of fucking "Oh no who cares about the rest, i just want to get the best" attitude, PLease fuggg off

New song

Uploaded this new song. I'm addicted to it~ Will update soooooon k? Have to go east coast park soon!

James Blunt - You're beautiful

My life is brillant
My love is pure
I saw an angel
And I am sure
She smiled at me at the subway
She was with another man
But I won't lose no sleep on that cuz I've got a plan

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
Cause I'll never be with you

Yes you caught my eye
As we walked by
She could see from my face
That I was fucking high
And I don't think I will see her again
But we shared a moment that will last till the end

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
Cause I'll never be with you

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful it's true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you
But it's time to face the truth
Cause I'll never be with you

Sick sick -_-

If u've been wondering why i havent update for a 'long' time, its cause i'm SICK SICK SICK. This is so bad.. i haev bad flu which make me use like 324236523 tissue paper a day and the worst thing is THERE'S AN ULCER IN MY TONGUE. That's damn freaking pain . Whenever i wan talk,eat,drink something, I WILL FEEL GREAT PAINN. Sheesh why all this shit is happening to me -_-.

Wanted to make a post with some picture buT~ no mood onw T_T i'll do that soon though!just stay tune :)

My life is in ruins

i dont get it.. why must u make such a fuss when we did a small thing like not offing the light? Scolding and shouting at us.. Yes u want us to do the right thing, but did u care abt our feelings? Pain hurt , u wouldnt know that. Countless nights of crying in the darkness, Thoughts of sucidal occurs here and there. did u ever know ur son would do that? I'm breaking down.. Whenever i see parents communicating well with their children, i feel jealous.. Why couldnt we too? I already give up on this relationship... Communicating is impossible. .

Its been almost 5 months since that day passed. . . U wouldnt know that i still think of u everynight. Thinking abt the foolish i did, if i havent did all those, we would still be together.. It rips my heart just thinking abt that.. Call me naive or stubborn, i still love u and maybe hope one day a miracle would happen. . Everything is not in place.. the 4 words u gave me, it rings in my head everytime. It kills 99.9% of my heart. There's this 0.1% that refuse to give up still. . Everything is going against it. Msn conversation was never the same. . its just one word answer to my question and the conversation is dead... one question one answer.. Is this how its going to be? Maybe . YOur heart that i have broken will never be fixed again.. blame it on my stupidness. ..

I need to be strong. God please help me tide through this 2 situation.. only then can i be free again. . My heart is self destructing slowly. After that, i will just be a zombie, someone with no feelings. . Oh god, please give me the strength to live and tide through the situation. . Why is all this shit happening to me? Tears rolling everyday.. i'm tired.. really tired.. Why is there nothing called dream world, where there is no saddness but happiness. .

Slackers > GeeKS!

Just ate durian with my parents.. BurP! 4 durians man that is so nice T_T last durian wasnt nice though ;(. Ate finish, use the shell and drank the salt water. No idea why people drink salt water on the shell! I think its just some old ah ma stories passed down. Came home and saw super star. So here's the all so big deal part:
MY DAD CLEANED THAT LEON LIM GUY TEETH BEFORE HE WENT FOR COMPEITION ROFL!.

So my mom was obviously seeing how he performed. He sang wei yi i think .I always loveeeee that song! Sad love song always attract me no matter what.. ;(. I guess i'm just a pessismic person! i think he got like 32.5/50? THe last 2 judge gave 5 ROFL GG. Then when the judge able to give the result, my dad came back from work and my mom quickly asked him to see. Then he saw the results then he say : Aiya lose liao la lose liao " Then he brought the durians up LOL. Damn funny he go say. Then my mom go call for the number to vote for him rofL! He sang abit out of tune though.

I have 2 test tomorrow and i'm still chatting now! Nice right? E math and physic(gone case). I'm planning to drop physic soon.. I CAN SENSE IT THE TEACHER IS SOME BIAS AGAINST ME. I shall write that tomorrow dont feel like writing anymore now. Dont feel like studying for my test now --" Somehow i feel laziness > hardwork. Sa2 was a good example. I just study 1 day before exam and i almost average someone who study like 2 weeks before exam LOL . I'm nt haolianing here or wadever. I always just studies 1 day before exam ( EVEN DURING MY PSLE AND STREAMING), somehow i always wanted to change for the better nxt term which obviously didnt work out ( duh :P). Games > studies ;(.

Marist youth day

Yesterday was marist youth day. Didnt blog yesterday since i couldnt get my ass to type the whole long thing in my mind. Always didnt like marist youth day throughout the years. The game stalls are always old fashion and stupid games -_- . FOr all those who are wondering whats marist youth day. Its a day where marist celebrating youth day by setting up games and food stall and we get to patronise them.

This year looks interesting. There's a cs compy organised by some sec 3 class and there IS SUPPOSEDLY to be a lanshop organised by my CCA. SOMEHOW my cca suddenly didnt talk abt that lanshop and i'm pissed by that. I wanted to make some warcraft 3 compy where i get to own everyone. * LOL KILL ME PLZ* ok i'm nt tat good at wc3 la -_-. just want to see whether mshs have any pros~ Took part in the cs compy with aaron,HY,kiang ang, yifeng. I'm such a dick that i dont know why i take part ROFL! I dont even know how to play cs T_T, Hvaent played for a longg time and i suck at it. The prize was quite sucky though. The winner win some original games! i not sure whether 1 team win 1 game or 1 game each. So anyway registered and went there. Saw so many people who looked pro bringing their own razor mouse. To sum it all about the compeition, the organising was


ATROCIOUS!

Our reporting time was 9.40. THe paper clearly stated come 3 mins before ur reporting time. Went there at 9.35... Waited ard 15 mins, i'm FINE with that. So we went in the first game. Guess what mouse we used? BALL MOUSE. Ya small little mouse suck both my balls pls. So i had to make my sensitivty like damn high. Quite used to it tho since my mouse at home kind of suck too. Not much difference.

InGame:
first 2 round was demoralising man. We went seperate ways and we all got fragged ;(. manage to frag one or 2 before i got owned though. Third round we all got pussified(nice word eh?) and stick together at bomb site A(we were playing dust2). Throw a flash bang at the stairs and killed 2 people.DIE SUCKERS HAHA. We just continued owning until game 5. So we won the first set 3:2. Guess who the top fragger was?

Scroll down
BUT
DONT
BE SHOCKED!
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ITS ME HAHAH


I know i'm so freaking proud T_T FRAG ME PLS! LOL . ok i know i'm being a dick here . so lets continue LOL

Changed to terrorist team and they went to CT. Guess what the score was? 5:0 we won LOL i'm being a dick again. So Guess what frag i got?
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SECOND ;(
FUck sia i hate being second ;( why must i get second :( but anyway i think i still get the most frag since i owned in game one LOL KILL ME PLS. Ok i shall stop being a dick head and be a humble man. LOL . But then again, seriously i suck at cs and i dont play it competitively. The only time i played competively was osme cs compeition. FUcking wasted man! 1 more win and we could have won 200 bucks wtF!. so we ended at 4th place i think? NO prize T_T. But nevertheless its fun teaming up with pri sch frens.

After game, they told us report at 10.40. So we went there at 10.35. Guess what? We waited till 10.45 for our turn . Havent our turn then we keep asking them wad time our time slot is, AND THEY JUST FUCKING IGNORE US. Then later some guy come out at 11 and tell us come back in half an hour?WTF. Fuck ur management sucks or what. HY and yifeng got pissed and dont want to play so we got disbanded. Wasted man wtf. HOST UR COMPEITION BETTER NXT TIME PLEASE!

Saw my blog today had a few comments. By melvin and st mei wahah Eh nt bad leh at least got comments! Add more comments leh those who view my blog. Not bad going 200 views.. CALL MORE OF UR FRENS TO VISIT~ =(


PS: FUCKING JASON GOT KNOCKED OUT OF THE CS COMPY FIRST ROUND HAHAHA LOSER!(only to jason and not to his team members :P)

Do u know that parents lie to u when u were a small little kid?!

This thing just occurred to me when i was eating my vegetables one day during dinner. It so happened that i remembered my parents used to tell me " KY EAT MORE VEGETABLES LA. THEN U CAN GROW TALL." I used to believe that shit and i would force myself to eatm ore vegetable since i'm ONLY A 140+ DURING PRI 6?That is so dman short ok.

So back to topic, i realise that the junks i learn in bio ACTUALLY helped me to 'englighten' me from the 'truth'. VEGETABLE DONT FREAKING HELP U GROW TALL, THEY JUST GIVE U FIBRE TO STIMULATE PERISTALYSIS. Wtf. Instead going out under the sun HELPS u grow tall by giving u vitamin D which increase the rate of abosrption for calcium which is for growth of bones. My parents are so evil to lie to me to eat vegetables ;(. Nvm i shall do that to my son too Mwahahaha!

Anyone got con by their parents too?